Do you want a baby this year? I am convinced of the usefulness of setting goals in life. I don't mean just sort of having some vague idea in your mind of what you want. I mean concretely thinking things over and converting these thoughts into words. Each year, I take time not only to come up with goals, but to committ them to writing. In fact, I don't limit this activity to just each January 1. I update my goals on a regular basis. Time and time again, I've shared this habit with friends who later told me that the more they got into the habit of writing down clear goals, the more that their lives gravitated towards their getting what they wanted.


The principles of goal-setting also apply when it comes to achieving pregnancy. There are two common ways of thinking I've seen among infertile couples. Both ways of thinking are common and normal, but I challenge you to ask yourself which type of thinking will do you more good in getting what you want? And then you can ask yourself which type of thinking is YOUR style?


Two common types of people are whom I call obstacle-focused thinkers vs. goal-focused thinkers. One type is always thinking about the unfortunate and negative aspects of their situation. The other type is always asking themselves "what do I want" and "what will I need to do to get closer to what I want". The contrast goes something like this: